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Naked, without sex and without shame

Good women don't go to heaven

There are many “sinful” women, because we learn very early in life to keep quiet about certain things, and we hide dirty laundry, like cats that cover up “shit” with a lot of class. But, what are those secrets? What is it that Latin, indigenous, Muslim, white, Asian, Christian, atheist, rich, poor, fat or skinny women hide?

To answer that question, I will undress right now with you, you who are ready to judge me. The most “valuable” information is undoubtedly: how many men have we slept with, or at what age did we have sex for the first time?

Thanks for the time

If you are a man, and you are reading this blog, right now you will be nervous and you will feel very sorry for me, but I only thank you for your time, and I invite you to open your mind, above all, because one day you will have daughters and you will want them to feel free and loved, always.

I started my sexual life a little late, almost at 20, because of my Catholic education about being a virgin, but mostly because of the lack of sexual education. I thought I could automatically get pregnant. I didn’t know anything about contraceptive methods I didn’t know I had the right to sexual pleasure, as much as men. And even though I thought I was smart because I knew about politics, I knew nothing about sex. I just knew that I was scared of it. I felt like a silly Cinderella, that I was going to lose something vital.

I did not have a mother or a father who educated me in that aspect. For my friends and I, sex was taboo. My older brother told me one day: “If you get pregnant, your life ends.” Although I didn’t even know how one got pregnant, I checked his theory. I saw pregnant girls from my school. With pregnancy, their life changed overnight.

Some did not go back to class anymore, out of sheer shame. They were just 15 years old. That created a strong impact on me. When you are poor you can’t afford to make those mistakes. That’s why I followed the advice to the letter. In case curiosity killed me, I knew that I would have no financial help from anyone. In my family we just survived, and a successful career awaited me in the future.

That’s why it was only later in life that I came to discover how wonderful sex is, and the power that is in it.

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The power of thought

Yes, sex is fantastic, anti-stress, just and necessary. There is always pleasure for both of those who participate in sex, although to achieve that, sometimes you have to go through several men, or love relationships. Especially if you live in a macho society, it will take you longer to discover what you deserve in bed, and the true power of your sexuality. When the woman begins her sexual life before she is 18 years old, and in the first years after, she does not really know what she is doing.

And I didn’t know what I was doing. I did not have the maturity or knowledge to be able to grow as a person with the power of sexuality. The truth is that the pleasure of giving yourself to the other can teach you a lot about yourself. Your values, your fears, your insecurities, your fantasies, but most importantly, how much you love yourself!

Sometimes, at that age you just give and give, because you don’t know how to ask. The worst part is that you don’t even know what you’re supposed to ask for. At 18 and early 20, you just keep apologizing: “I swear to you, I haven’t done this with anyone else.” That was your answer to that little boy who stupidly asked you: “where did you learn to do that?” And, if that was the same guy who taught you about sex, good luck! Well, a macho can only teach you so much of what is good for him: how about teaching you how to give the best oral sex? Yes! but only if your perform it to him and to him only.

I like it I do not like it

For this reason, in this initial stage of your life, you often end up confused by saying: “I don’t like oral sex.” I used to say so until I found a gentleman who showed me the most beautiful pleasure that your partner can give you. “Perdition”: they are there to “serve you” and they love to do it. He who is a gentleman at the table is also a gentleman in bed, and they tell you so from the first day; “ladies first”.

But at 15, 18, 20 years of age, we still don’t know how to find and then identify these men. We have not yet learned what we deserve. That is why us millennial girls, can educate ourselves about what is good for us. About what are our rights in bed. Yes, but before we get inside the sheets.

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Abortions

Another thing that we women hide is abortions! This topic does raise dust, and when a woman is “discovered” she is judged harshly. This can end love affairs, cause excommunication and even jail, as in El Salvador, one of the countries with the most severe laws in the world.

So the question that haunts many men or other macho women is; Have you had an abortion in your life, or how many have you had? But that’s the information that only your best friend should knows… and probably her best friend.

You can make your statistics very easy; Of your 5 friends, 2.5 probably had an abortion at some point in their life, between the ages of 15 and 22, and you are a member of the group.

Other times, they only became mothers so as not to have a second abortion. And although the solution sounds very easy, with sexual education and contraceptives, when this happens, it is up to each woman to decide what to do with her body, especially if she is a girl, or a young woman who does not have anyone’s support. Of course, with the responsibility of learning from that lesson, and not making mistakes again; because there is an age and a limit to make certain mistakes in life.

Therefore, abortion is an open secret, because being honest in a hypocritical society brings many consequences. However, Latin America is the region with the highest rate of abortions in the world. The region ranks first, with an average of 44 per thousand women who undergo this procedure. This is stated in the report “Abortion Worldwide 2017, Uneven Progress and Access” published by the Guttmacher Institute.

An open secret

It takes a lot of education, compassion, and an open mind to deal with it.

The biggest mistake is wanting to give a single answer to everything.  Decide that something is either good  or bad.  Women also hide how they really feel after giving birth. If you are already a mother you know it. They hide postpartum depression so as not to look like bad women

Did you ever feel rejected by your son when he was born? It has happened to some women, but then everything changes. It’s part of a natural depression, but they don’t always feel safe to talk about it. That insecurity grows in us from childhood, when we are taught to hide our menstrual period, as if we were bad women. That’s why I think that we are all “sinful” women. Those are sins that were invented by men throughout the history of mankind.

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And remember: Good women don’t go to heaven.

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Journalist and Entrepreneur María Leonor Inca has 10 years of experience in journalism between Ecuador and the US. She is currently a reporter and news anchor for Vision Latina, as she also did for Estrella Media, Spanish-language television media with coverage for California and nationwide for the United States. She is also a blogger and creator of digital content. When she was 18 years old, she co-founded her own newspaper that served the entire state of Guayas, in her native country of Ecuador, beginning as a print media entrepreneur at an early age. At the age of 19, she managed to enter the renowned national newspaper, Diario Hoy, for which she covered historical events in the country, such as the new constitutional reform of the country by President Rafael Correa. At the age of 20, she began working in television, as an investigative reporter and producer of various segments in prime time on the News program, “Ecuador Insólito” on TC Television, National channel. María Leonor took a brief break from journalism in Ecuador in 2012, to travel through Europe, America and the Middle East to learn English and start blogging about her experiences, with interviews with celebrities, lifestyle, fashion, entertainment and opinion. policy. She did this before continuing her television career in the US.

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